This is my most religious collection of poetry.
My allegiance lies with the individuals who suffer the pain of becoming one with the Message, who do not just talk about messages.
What I've written in the following is how the force of virtue plays out in one set of scenarios. It is how someone like Kurt Cobain could have found his soul and avoided the delusions he fell under. I myself helped build the "Seattle Scene" from 82 to 1988, and even congradulated Kurt after one of his first Seattle gigs. He was so overjoyed that he grabbed one of the other members of his band and had me tell them. But that force that knocked Kurt out for good, also had me going for a while. I had been strongly interested in religion and spirituality since a teen, but luckily art was after my soul as well. The "art force" that Kurt fell under is obviously a pretty vicious thing at times. The god and goddess of this force are alcohol and drugs. The ministers are all those people who really don't give a crap about you -- the same happened to me on my level before Grunge ever got big and took off.
A very spiritual form of Christianity found me out and gave me direction.
What people may not understand is that "Christianity" plays on different levels. You can see what I write in the following as one big use of symbols. Sometimes it works that way for me. What I call "Satan" or "demons" can be seen as psychoanalytical or could be a another realm of life beyond ours -- the very same force of corruption that inhabits many human beings, such as one reads about in elites or at times of war. All world's cultures and religions have an view of the demonic, or evil spirits.
My view of the matter is a combination of both psychology and religion.
The aim is to stay who you are, to stay enchanted by the muses but to make it a constant experience in your soul, not in your body with alcohol and drugs.
I realize that some of Excorcists Anonymous might read like a Fundamentalist Christian sermon. One has to see far beyond all the trendy aetheists of today, especially all the young "nerds and geeks," if you will, with their smug hatred of God and faith, and in reality their hatred of compassion and gentleness. I don't see the young hip aetheist, even ones in the arts, as that much different than the crude and uncultured corporate warrior. But I don't make "accounts" of people, I don't think I'm any kind of final judge, and it doesn't make me bitter, but I'm sure many people will understand what I'm talking about. To sum it up, I think the future can be different than the 20th Century. The 20th Century was way too dark in art, and in life, and, eventually, it should be little wonder what caused what. I just hope it doesn't dawn on you too late before most of your life is over.
What people may not understand is that Christianity works on different levels. It is wise to remember that almost all world cultures and major religions described beings called demons.
This somewhat simple poetry was written to help in the various stages of sincere religious repentance, when one is truly gone of the pride of the self and is resting on God. So, with that, I bring you, Exorcists Anonymous.
I if the thief comes only to rob kill and destroy then we must trace what it was he stole and give the police a list of what's missing Did you know he steals the ability to make others even like us at all? He can take away everything pleasant from us and he makes us without someone who looks up to us Who looks up to you these days? sort of like the way athletes look up to each other can we be a stable person without the thief throwing the relationship a curveball? I know what kind of person I'm trying to talk about: someone like me someone who is always fighting a thief faith is a shield against such theft how much is stolen and not able to be given back? and how much is destroyed? to be healed: is it leaving the others around me to their own abilities? will I every come back to them? or is it the deceitfulness of riches that enters into me and when I attain on the path of riches I say, "I'm healed from my oppression!" It's so good to keep our eyes open we might live in such a different world with me always saying that your world is better because mine has been robbed, killed and destroyed a bunch but what about Jesus Christ and Him on the cross What he is doing is so right on and it is so good to count our blessing because He led captivity captive and gave gifts to men II there need be no cosmic cycles nor cheapening occult rudiments but there is a big cycle which is the work of God the power of God to keep me and almost every time I see it I see it wrong I had so much time to do things my way a way which got me poverty and demonization see, the Lord's hand in keeping me and retrieving me this is the big cycle that is in life the cycle of sins and restoration and at times it is not seen even as white and black in any areas III I will survive all the attacks Satan does give to work with Him who is the All who is my Savior who loves me though Satan corrupts this world I am one who has experienced being placed in a better place a place of friendship a place of good food so I have warmth in cold winters and I have comfort when I am too tired to walk yet I feel I'm always walking and I must march on to march as a victor of a battle I'm forced into of a battle that is won and I must follow all my friends' ways I must strive on to keep in the light as they are in the light I must tell the weak that I'll buy them a cup of coffee if they'll let me tell them what Jesus did for me because I was raised from the dead and that He was the one doing the lifting because I was taught and I was fed and my own ways aren't so right anymore telling them I am no longer a critic of people my tongue does no harm but by Jesus my Savior each one has been given a certain charm IV there are a lot of people who have nothing like the ones who are fresh out of prison and sometimes we should try to see things more like them men of so much disappointment broken to be made more right with God and this is a gain which is so hard to feel in the soul since it was the soul, the desire which was broken God can plan our steps to break us so making us what we are for our betterment thus His own Glory which shades life with pleasure V I happily do not notice anything wrong with my walk with God because it is a fact I am warped and sinning I do not do what I want I have not yet attained I am not yet perfected and I have these recognitions it is an act of the Holy Spirit these acts of recognition I am joyful to claim them VI I've been dead beyond discussion I've been the demoniac in the cave In searching it became percussive and now half-alive I know I'm saved I sometimes laugh at the way men are so out of tune with God I wish confession were so much more apparent among us to make a man stand on the foundation of promises of God in Jesus towards the promise that He will make their heart pure toward Him! VII Brave men inherit promises for God is loving them as they confess His love as they love Him Weak men run in doubt and God never loves them so they believe and they could even hear God tell them that He doesn't love them for they fail to see the love He gives them and they cry out: "Why do you love others more than me?" Brave men owe their fortune to God and when they are poor they owe that to themselves because they live in a brave world (where God loves all men and God is not to be blamed) In a brave man's heart he knows that God is love and that God wants us to do good a good God saved them in their weakness and the brave man strives to save the weak The Kingdom of God is not for men who gloat and say "God, do you love me?" hundreds of times on end it is for those who take God's love for granted VIII I am going to manifest a lot more pain and it is the equivalent of shipwrecks, imprisonment, stonings, and beatings why do I go through it? because I, too, believe just because I, too, believe not because of my height nor weight nor whether or not I have a moustache I go through pains just when I resist and believe I am going to go through much more pain just because Satan thinks that if the illusion is shown... if God is shown as not protecting me then I may leave this victory my faith produces so Satan employs demons to torment but slowly I accept more pains for more dignity as a creature of God IX I've got to rely on the goodness of others like my sisters and my brothers let it be a support for all good things X I was a guy, when: EVERYONE WAS RICH BUT ME it made me jealous, it made me mad and I had to figure it out to see something it was.... God has His hand on everyone the same and it was me who never had it easy it was ME who got something I always thought someone else would get: Poverty! (as far as America knows poverty -- I was the underprivileged that is) and I had to figure it out as: EVERYONE IS RICH BUT ME And where is my God of Love just (semi-)oblivious in His cause and effect because He knows He set up a cause and effect which is bound to bless me He knows well that he gave me a hundred blessing that a humble man would rejoice in XI The things in our life are like some T.V. evangelism show's testimony time each good thing the Lord has done for us could be shown with beautiful music in the background We have been rooted by the Father and watered by the Spirit instructed by the Word and traded places with the Son those that are thankful are the blessed and those that complain do not get so blessed just like this was all on T.V. to show more good things the Lord has done XII examine the beautiful word: believe a true believer remembers moments with Jesus remembers what God told 'em and a dumb true believer keeps on asking God the same thing in several different ways on several different days a spiritually dumb one can't seem to ask God if He really loves them too many times to go beyond feelings in a period of self-examination to ask ourself, Do I really believe a God could love me? Do I really believe my sins could be forgiven? XIII one of the biggest efforts to obtaining a life in which the salvation of the Lord can shine through is the effort of truly understanding the Lord for His decision to allow evil to continue its course we will live in a world without the suffering from demons no one wanting to torment us and life won't be the same XIV Losing to Satan has one outcome but so many looks a format of God being wrathful to you that in your life is losing to Satan losing to Satan takes you away from the hope that purifies the hope of I John 3: 2, 3 (when He is revealed we shall be like Him for we shall see Him as He is and every one who has this hope in Him purifies himself just as He is pure) to Satan, God is only the wrathful God a pathetically misunderstanding God losing to Satan has its many forms it has the form of disbelief in God as omniscient it has the form of never being able to totally wear His righteousness because we are this or that XV the world can change the world through prayer in Jesus name Each one of us has the option to use the power of prayer in our lives united with the power of God this is the strongest way God allows change God doesn't go about praying and answering prayers He relies on us as the world lies dormant as it waits to change itself by prayer in the name of Jesus XVI they can make signs and wonders to make us think a lie is true they are demons and it's said all their future is through they will show deceptions to say God is not true they are demons and it is said all their future is through I can get every name, rank, and serial number of the demons but let's look at the last six thousand years and bless His Holy Name for this help that raised men a foot above water and put peace between me and men He must be remembered as doing that let us transform the world of men thank You, Lord for your great part in giving such words of peace and having such great faith you are uplifting and generous for giving us, for real yes, brethren, for real giving us for real sonships of God not like myself when in other religions but on me now (after my earthly father's last name) you impute the last name: God XVII thank you for that answer your part in the dialogue such it is: a dialogue with a voice which so outshines the other voice in splendor showing expensive answers tells the dignity of the other voice to come alive and soon both are God the Trinity becomes a Quartet and to have this lopsided dialogue has been your ambition throughout all time thus let us transform the world of men! let's look at what God has done in the world's history He saved millions upon millions and made them virtuous creatures. who longed for a land where your law is upheld by this hope He washed them faithlessness is not expecting good things to happen I desire the earth to smile more and revolution to be declared from Satan so others can expect the earth to smile more and God's angels to storm in and give us the food of the change that takes place in the twinkling of an eye XVIII The ladder of sins which Satan accuses us of all types he says are our own ones that we haven't even committed lie very decrepit at out feet because his sinister words harm us with visions we must gain freedom from this all together as one and I don't care which sins are yours His sinister words accuse us of worse than the allegiance with our Heavenly Father prevented us from committing It is not over, vicious beast, for those like me you've accused! for those like me who do have sins you've seduced us into committing. nothing is over! for God has not given you the power to destroy us! The Gospel's harsh words were not meant for us! We who are repentant over and over again for things we've done They are meant for you, for you! Let us just see it The words of eternal torment were meant for you! Lord of the vicious dogs of a cruel owner! Your demons are like the dogs of an ill-bred man who bark even in fear of children. I am closing in on it that voice that is not God and I am coming closer to heaven when I know Him not just in name but in voice I like how You really care, You take me for better or for worse sowed a little to the spirit and you will never let go what I gave this is a special victory and I have patience love waiting love trusting love yielding and love expecting for good fruits to be there handled by many and that the plants are strong and take root in trouble's ground XIX In this war our dignity is forever at stake I am presently losing I should be giving light and life like never before In this war I have been given all chances which look like a book of passes that forgave me when I fell short It is a war in which when losing I become in my mind like the enemy a fornicator, enemy of man, ponderer of all things evil as myself! and this image is their victory My victory must be in becoming an opposite image I become nothing like them righteousness becomes others' memory of me good works He prepared for me surround me I am an outspoken advocate of the poor In this war I am to sow dignity to others to quench suicidal mail from reaching their mailboxes to pray and destroy strongholds of a covetous producing system I am armed dangerous to them my weapon is the prayer of faith Yes, I give direction to the mighty arm of God In this war I must understand both life's pain and promise and clearly break away from the way materialism soothes me I must gain dignity from my poverty seeking myriads of cousins of this light this is my prayer: that I find them and I must gain a place of dignity to call myself something more than a small rank of power In this war I must allow God to continue to break me For I was raised in the comforts of society and I am broken all the way down to skid row with my sin fixes of the past to haunt me yet He has a purpose for my lack of past satisfactions He never wanted another one to just be a success because there are millions and millions of successes In this war the pain of failure to God is so great yet somehow He keeps telling me that I haven't failed Him that I am like a weapon He knows how to use! and I become useless when I think I lose (when Satan says "Look at you so far from the will of God!") In this war it is the lack of confession that we are in the will of God which is sometimes loss We shall bathe in His plenty as we ask Him for His best in this war XX confession that the ambiance of nature takesit over the breeze the leaves the animals the turning of day into night a part of the regeneration of God's Holy Spirit I feel in my life I believe You can reconcile my heart to you for all time a miracle by You then all will be all cool since I asked this of You Why would you say no If I asked You to erase the part of me that won't be at peace with You? and if God is true then look at all of you who won't reconcile their hearts to the true as they have their offenses as well as their inabilities to be at Peace with Him You'd all better think "If God be true then I'll need some work to reconcile my heart too" XXI what is coming to me but a deed of heaven my Eternal Place a reward is written in the Word of God the Bread of Life a promise for those who have once trusted Him God is faithful to bring back death to life I believe for promises I would have never reached without the fellowship of saints what is coming back to me but a deed a title, some legal oath is saying I received glory somehow it all added up the kindness I showed to a stranger echoes the faith that I have in Jesus His Blood washed me in swallowed years and now His Blood is back upon me washing me giving me a dignity again I see those without dignity in jails, homeless, in group homes, in halfway houses and I do not deny that I could be so much more like them and maybe you are one of them you need Jesus to prevent you from doing wrong from getting angry at your parents from shooting heroin in your veins from going into adult book shops and what you have been in God have faith that you will be that again if you were a child and trusted Him He has called you since then and if you say "I once believed and now I couldn't do that" realize it is to your benefit that you once did and think of all the ways you could be humbled XXII God is a reality existing entirely in His own reality God is existing entirely fully in His own reality God is entirely existing fully in His own reality God is a reality fully existing entirely in His own reality XXII the most complex of all structures in the interaction of the bible and my life where sin abounded grace abounded much more I allow the fact the fact that God is absorbed in my life that He dedicates His time to it XXIV a crescendo an increase in decibels the symbol: < the symbol of Christian existence starting as an mere point we have such little memory of that scope going up and out through tribulation, perseverance, character and hope the good fish taken the bad fish thrown back we came to follow we walk with oil we got on the elevator He washed off some soil or so it seems at least we try and stay praying and open to comfort those miserable failures like ourselves yet in it all the Word depicts our lives as a frameless crescendo an increase in decibels the symbol: < leading off into some other point in eternity not some spiritualist universalism but a Renaissance splendor XXV felt the warmth looked for the sun saw that it was hope that spread gold rays XXVI sustain my appreciation so I could have lofty thoughts when you draw near to me after I draw near to you smash demons constantly give me the riches of man never let me grow corrupt in the isolation from the lowly wealth brings bind all judgement from my soul forever let me be free take away my wicked laughs that once caused me comfort show me my pridefulness the instance it appears let me know the customs of grace that will surround us all in heaven Don't let me be taken by the same ignorance, please when you draw near to me after I draw near to you smash demons constantly who is eating the food that you give? to be honest I see many millions, even billions since Jesus's death I am comforted in this multitude a sprinkling of maturity in this understanding XXVII I can really see You sometimes sometimes secret how you work omniscient while I live in inomniscinece my plea for a new heart and new mind new blood my hunger for some frost some morning dew some moonlight some energy in me I just ask if You can hear me then give me something else and I brave this as not selfishness God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ and I accept Christ as the one who suffers for the disharmonius things I've done yet offers me things I want so I'm not selfish on my way to being content XXVIII Give me ears to hear and eyes to see You and to use them for comprehending the work done in me and the work done for those around me let me be remade fit into me so I can be using a part of You to be let me be remade by You fit into me so I can be using You to see IXXX I exist somehow sinless on a conveyor belt I'm entering a chamber displaying His perfection wholesomeness whiter than snow God says he can miraculous restore and I know that we shall attain if we search with all our heart the burden that is light a pureness conquering with its might all things to the pure are pure in sight God keeps on whispering this and God is right On the third day Christ rose from the dead and equal to this I have the miracle of my soul being cleansed On the third day Christ rose from nonİmotion after years of living I rose from my sinfulness on the third day after His heart stopped beating Christ rose full of blood flowing and equal to this I have the miracle of my soul being cleansed after I have said every foul thing there is to say I can still live in purity and the power that is power which wants me pure is talking at me every day and it has disturbed all my plans to escape and half believing in it I yet see it has taken me hostage XXX mercy is all large it spreads its coat over anything when loved by mercy mercy shows itself to be enormous more thoughtful for our feelings than we ever dreamed God is love and like some kind of perfection Jesus is floating all around me and like some kind of innocence He wants me to please Him by faith faith in the rarified things like love, hope and duty like some kind of nobility in the making and you must accept the borders of the nobility what do you think about the handicapped? that isn't good enough! that isn't good enough to make them feel good about themselves that isn't insight enough to relate to them like you would your family and friends God made chocolate milk and puppy love and that about sums it up; that is the kind of God I've been trying to fathom! XXXI plans --- that I have to -- - you, you only prosper --- you night and day you --- my little loved one and --- you are allowed to live in prosperity not --- in the weakness but in power to --- you who I will uplift harm --- not I you over you --- who I hold in my heart plans --- that will make you the child to --- give the child in you hope give --- to you your love for all men you --- who are to become more like me a --- child born in this fallen world hope --- for all your days to be in heaven and --- for a joyous relationship with Jesus a ---- way I prepared to have His righteousness future --- forever, In the name of Jesus Amen Jeremiah 29:11 XXXII An Exorcism for Occultists: I knew that this keyhole opened many wondrous miraculous powers for man's unleashing his full potential as we can compare some to butterflies some of us to caterpillars even; but I didn't realize the agent of the power was God's Hand XXXIII me of faith believing in my life awakening, confessing promising, uplifting recognizing He loves me showing off a good opinion of God zenith of what I've known "Me of faith believing each promise that I gave destroying what Satan did by an addition of days" showing off a good opinion of God calming down seeking a proper perspective filling the needs I've found XXXIV You seem to take the mornings of men and make such tears more precious than diamonds hearts that are of soft wax by your heat, Lord kept soft by your heat, Jesus everywhere it must be shown God on a cross the Creator on a cross all around I want it to be known the wounds in His hands the torn, bloody feet! I want to love God's heart by each day which dies by I want to wait I want to say that I really don't understand Him at all His meaning overflows all that I can withhold But take me back to days when that was a sin? XXXV as in my old friend Adam all died I was a measure of him to the brim (my old friend Adam suspended in the consciousness from earliest days hearing the Bible story secluded memories of hearing about Adam) and in my eternal cousin Jesus (Jesus looking like a cousin who I used to see clearly tho it was four or five time a year) He has this therapy He will work on me it can not be accomplished while I live this is a fact I recall is scriptural we won't all sleep to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord and as He is so shall we be every who has this hope in Him purifies himself just as He is pure XXXVII just see Christ on a cross and let the spirit of reality take over just see Christ on a cross and let God's sacrifice bear fruit just see Christ on a cross and realize Satan is defeated that no hard words of your own can defeat you that no mindset of yours can ever finally beat you just see Christ on a cross and see Christ on the cross take all hell's worst for you all Hell's worst for you is now His to deal with when I use to see Christ every day in Catholic school I use to feel my best and Jesus was always my friend and I felt so secure but now He can seem far away because in one dimension of all time He has been up there on the cross You can have your illusions your Disgruntled King but Jesus was my Jesus when He was on the cross no other power touching my heart but the necessary slaughter of the Lamb of God and we were taught to teach Christ crucified XXVII Care I can feel it coming Care and I am living Care running from dying Care like never before Gently running from dying Gently like never before Gently let me write it all out Gently or I lose the grip Slowing down from running from dying I see the abyss open up this life's miseries open up as men struggle between their theories I guess it comes from walking my own way this presence of death I feel in my body let your energies burst out and heal! I put my eggs in one basket Easter eggs of childhood ascents hoping to keep them all my life and have them shade my life in glory I find that I've almost lost the whole basket I now offer them to God and now I stumble upon them He hides them one at a time at places where I can find them Patience death is swallowed up iin life Patience I can write it all out Patience good health will break forth Patience all things will be mine in Christ XXXIX Is there a world of difference between those who are poor in spirit and those who seek to be rich in flesh? Being poor in Spirit doesn't seem that hard perhaps Jesus meant this as His light yoke and being rich in flesh is probably more difficult unless you've gone hard water being dried up because your assets in the flesh keep coming back paying interest yet no one is found having their own righteousness in Christ; no poor-in-spirit Christian is looking down at those rich in flesh XL Dear Heavenly Father Please deliver me my soul cries out in pain Won't you have mercy on me? Don't you have mercy on me? I see the cars go by on the highway In them I think many more happy than me But I realize They are the people of problems also Some have rapists in their family Some have sons with cerebral palsy some will soon enter mental hospitals I thank you for the Holy Ghost He will give me the power to go on Help me be happy and collect the things I need while collecting the days and the battle that swallows them all XLI to love God is to at least trust Him to trust Him to wash away all condemnation from us XLII Excorcism of my Fluffy God from my head Out! -- Fluffy God! turn God a different color screaming love for prisoners horizons chill in ecstasy for foriegnors outrageous days ahead give the poor days that are like a millions years a piece! XLIII I went through life at very high altitudes putting me in patterns I now feel as embarrassments but I could be happier God will hear this prayer that I want again to breathe the thin air but the air of His spirit leading me to a higher place for Eternity Christ let me have mercy again let me know what it is to be me take away this anger and envy (which is also overİinquisitiveness) I feel when I look into the eyes of strangers Let me know what you think of prosperity let me realize I have a career Keep me on the word not to let it depart from my eyes keep your commandments in the midst of my heart You've told me to share what You've done Share the testimony of Jesus with a soul Its great to ask you "Lord, use me today, to bring light into the world." Maybe why I don't feel so strong now is that I am not bringing enough light into it light into the world by way of my soul such an activity brings such repaying! So, I ask you to bring me to the light as I seek to bring it into the world let the secret springtime the springtime of people's spirit, ferment! through the summer, fall, winter of our spirituality non-coincidental with the weather's four seasons wash our souls with a springtime which keeps our hearts and minds in Jesus Surround us in love so deep that the demons won't be able to loosen it to make us appear as an adversary when they attempt to have us wrestle with flesh and blood XLX I dream about being with people like you like a kind butler a kind old gentlemen pleasant people with pleasant words never returning my anger I dream yet I live in it with only You to hold with God all things are possible such as Omniscience watching over facets of our life watching and directing us as soldiers of goodness answering prayers that took us five seconds to pray storing good things for our future making us the respect of men giving us peace giving us more peace than money could ever buy making us worthy of His calling transforming our minds from glory to glory making us to not even have to worry about our spirituality making us not even to have to worry about our spirituality XLVI the ultimate visions appear as you explain eternal life so clear and as these words I see How much they depend on prayer all I want is fruit of the spirit and how it all depends on You on You to answer my prayers The Blood of Jesus forever unites me with His Soul! this is one transport to Eternal life desolation and shame became they cover the land of my time but as one devotes the day to You a new righteousness (like the noon day sun) is theirs! a therapy so inexpensive a heresy that we sometimes don't see is that it says in the Word "Ye" are the salt "Ye" are the light Love is growing up all around me love is, love is authored by God L problems getting solved checking off on a chart a chart of once impossible goals the union of power of God and man through Christianity the synergy of sweetness day dream afternoon tea problems in our lives solving, solving disappearing, disappearing awaken my mind take out my eye's beam and rejoice in changes already made in others LI a mother's face in movement sometimes a father's face irregardless shifting in a loving haste conglamorate -- it is God's face a care a love lasting touches His heart eternally deposited in faithfulness LII to see human scenarios with just a little less sin is to comprehend a world of beauty